...always sounds better in a book.

Waycross...

2007-10-02T21:43:00.000-04:00

Well, it is final. I am now officially moved into my new apartment, have my wireless internet hooked up (thank God), and have completed my first two days at Trinity UMC. It has been an incredibly emotional weekend leading up to this point. I have had an epiphany concerning these emotions, though. When I moved from Tallahassee to Vancouver after graduation, I had no emotions other than excitement and a sense of freedom, but when I arrived there I knew it was the wrong decision. That is old news, but I bring it up for this reason- I have had a great emotional reaction to leaving Tallahassee...this time. I have thought about this long and hard for the last two days, and I have come to the conclusion that I have had such a connection to those I love in Tallahassee, and when leaving for Vancouver there may have been an underlying doubt that it would be actualized. This time, however, I believe this is where I am supposed to be, and it is hard to swallow because I miss everyone so much. Tallahassee and everyone I met there have meant so much to me and my life. Those of you who invested in me will always be remembered as my best of friends- family. Mikey, Barf, Mastron, Deana, C-line, Stratty Cakes, Steph, Morrisey, Dia, Kuryne, and Jerad I thank you for your love and your friendship. You have been the foundation of all I have longed to be. You are who I want to be like. I love you all, and I pray that you will please keep me in your prayers as I venture into what I feel God is leading me toward with Student Ministry. Though you may not agree with my choice (I don't really know if any of you disagree with my choice to be here or not) I would hope that you trust my discernment and that you would please continue supporting me. I trust you will. Please know that I MISS YOU all!

Intercession in Community...

2007-09-06T10:40:00.000-04:00

This morning while reading back through my journal that write in while I study I came across a note that I made for myself concerning intercessional prayer. As I read that note from me to me, I realized that intercession seems of dire importance to the develoment of community. It may strike you as a "duh" moment, but it strikes me in a way I have never felt before. Intercession is selfless prayer. Prayer for others' needs. What is more necessary for a group of Christ-followers to develop community than intercession through the Holy Spirit? The passage speaks of inercessory prayer for rulers and authorities, but I believe the principle applies to all who claim the desire to be in communion with God and his own. The scripture reads,

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone-for kings and all
those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, pleases God
our savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." (1 Tim. 2 vs. 1-4)

I find that Paul is instructing Timothy that intercession is an "ingredient" of a life given to God. I know that language sounds dangerously legalistic, but hear me. I am not saying that intercession is a way to closeness and authentic life with God, but more of an outpouring of the love that we have been shown. Community is developed when those residing with one another in Christ desire to live the life we believe scripture has called us to. A life of giving of ourselves, and unconditional love. Is not intercession, praying for others' needs before your own, an example of this? While I think on this I am sadly convicted that I am incredibly self-focused in prayer. I even have difficulty praising God when I pray. I jump almost directly into my own concerns and petitioning God as a veritable lobbyist for my own desires and interests. This may be common sense for all of you, but I am thankful that this morning I have come to grasp this more clearly. Michael I think our conversation and listening to you about your life, as well as sharing about my own, has also played a part in this. We need to pray for one another!
The passage goes on to speak of Christ being our mediator. This is important because he is concerned with what we are praying for. The one who prayed for the "cup to be passed" from him is the same who interceded for us eternally. What an example! So, I am now pressing toward a life that is concerned with other's needs as well as my own. That being said, if you have any prayer concerns that you would like to share with a friend, just email me. I would love to pray with you.
Hopefully this entry has not struck you as a sermon, but a true expression of what I feel is an eventful revelation. I am amazed daily that there are so many things left to be learned from everything surrounding us, especially our great God. God may you lead us toward truth in everything we pursue!

The Rain

2007-08-27T10:49:00.000-04:00

Today Tallahassee is drenched in the well-needed rains of a set in weather front. The morning has been fantastically London-like and I have reveled in it. The rain does, however, bring about that ever-present, yet hidden, tinge of self-reflection that shows itself in the reflections of puddles and the ripplings that shatter those images. I have been incredibly pensive this morning ruminating over decisions needing to be made, memories, and desires.

Michael, I miss you. I wish you were here so that I might speak with you about all of this. I sympathize with you lately. Even though I am not alone in a huge city I am feeling alone here in Tally. I am tired of everyone's questions about life- what "I'm up to now", and her. I feel your pain. I must say the difference is that instead of being alone there are too many people who want to know what's happening, and in a sea of concern rarely does anyone seem sincere. So, if you read this we must speak. Phone tag is no longer a fun game ;)

God is good, though. I can't truly say I have any real complaints. I am learning about, well, more like journeying toward, a dependency on Him. I have been praying for brokenness and humility in my plans for my life. I have come to realize that if I have a desire to serve Christ then I need to be living in him. I haven't been so strong in that area for a while now. Disciplines that I used to shrug off as piety are now showing themselves to be necessary. I mean I know it sounds elementary, but I need to be in the Word everyday. I need to be in prayer. It seems so "duh-ish" right? Well, being a leader for so long, and, honestly, cynical for so long I have gotten to where I didn't see it as authentic, but now I see it differently. I want to read! I want to pray! I just suck at both, so now I begin to tread this path toward developing real disciplines. I think they are considered disciplines for a reason. I don't want empty motions. I long for relationship and these disciplines as a form of investment.

God be praised for your unconditional love. And a love that extends to all peoples, humbling us out of our ethnocentricities! May we love as you love! May we serve as loving vessels!

Where the path is...

2007-08-24T23:20:00.001-04:00

I think everyone I have ever met has a story about extreme change in their lives. Even more details arise when they stop to think about how that change effected their direction etc. They may say, "Oh yeah, my decision was so wrong, but when I realized that I had made a mistake I knew that things had to change, and that's when I..." and the like. Personally, I feel that I have had my fair share of extreme change, mistake making etc., but life has seasons and now, well, I am entering into the next season of change. I am not sure as of yet where this path I am on is heading, but I am not worried. That is the strangest change. Me not worried? I can scarcely believe it myself. I mean, of course I have my moments when I try to over-analyze what I need to be doing or planning. Overall, though, I am content in knowing that I am seeking God's will for my life for the first time in a while, and I am loving every unknown minute of it!

This past Wednesday I had an interview for a youth ministry position in Waycross, GA. It was incredible! I had such a great time meeting with the leaders of that church and even some of their young people. Regardless of whether or not God leads me there, I am so incredibly grateful that my first interview scenario was that amazing! I am humbled by their hearts and what they are seeking to do for their students and surrounding community. The only bad part about it was that the one person I wanted to talk to about it wasn't there. I had not felt the full force of everything that has happened between us until that evening while driving back to my parents. I missed her. I still do, but I am proud of what she is longing to be-who God is calling her to be. I just wish I could have shared all of this with her at that moment. Even now I want to speak to her, hear her perspective on it, but I know it may not be wise for either of us right now. Changes can be extremely difficult, yet necessary. Painful, yet healing at the same time. There is a dichotomy there that only points to the clarity that I know my God has on the subject. He is awe-inspiring!

I guess change always exists on the horizon threatening to shatter what we think we have under control. It is in these times though, that I feel we truly have the opportunity to seek God. If we are able to worship him through difficulty isn't that a great thing? I like to think so. I hope so!

Wherever this path leads and whatever change may come, I pray, God, that you are the guide. That yours is the voice I listen for! I thank you for your unending love that exists wherever you guide us. May you be praised!

The Virb...not an action, but a new era...

2007-05-09T12:51:00.000-04:00

Ok ok. I know my title was lame, but I just wanted to write this entry to point you to my new virb site. Check it out when you get a chance. i deleted my myspace account because of the clutter-less pages and customization that Virb allows the user to play with. No video-wallpapered home pages either! I must I am sick of the lollpop-licking ho bags that decorate my homepage on myspace for True's viedo ads. Thank God that is in the past!

Sexy on the inside...

2007-03-24T08:25:00.000-04:00

I have recently begun reading Rob Bell's sophomore publication, Sex God. I am only to the second chapter, yet I am challenged by his subject matter. Within the introduction and the first chapters he has aligned his argument under the banner that we are all the creation of God and made in his image. He has made us with a sense of sexuality and that sexuality permeates our being, our soul. In the first chapter he proposes an idea that should be so basic to everyday living (but isn't), that of if we consider Man as God's creation and treat a fellow Man poorly then we are, in essence, disrespecting His Creator.

Bell argues that it is obvious in how you treat someone's creation what you feel for that . If you crush their gifts or talents in your hands then you obviously do not value their gifts, their person. I was greatly challenged by such an obvious fault of my own. My prayer through this time of preparation and reflection known as Lent is that through the remainder I will focus on worshipping God by valuing his creation, most importantly his image bearers- you and I. I realize how I disvalue others based upon their appearance, their attitudes, their financial dispositions, or even their known social standings. I am not their judge. I am their friend, by birth rite we are connected. You and I are connected through His faith and love in us. So, I apologize to those of you whom I have offended with my bitterness, my ill attitude, and my judgement. You are an example of the maker to me. You are a miracle in and of yourself. Our existence is a gift, and I intend to use my gift to make your gift that much more meaningful, that much more special. Please pray for me as I step toward that goal- A goal of being true to my fellow man, and truer still to our creator!

::RJ

cold weather...

2007-02-16T20:29:00.000-05:00

I wrote a song once ( well let's be honest...it is the only song I have ever truly completed) and one line reads "cold weather always brings bad memories back, chilling me straight to the bone." When I wrote the song I had recently broken up with a girlfriend that I felt I had led astray in many ways, and any memory of said relationship-downfalls brought with it great discomfort and guilt. I am happy to say that today I feel totally redeemed. That is not to say that I no longer have the discomforting memories of that past relationship, but I realize I am forgiven, and now...I have finally forgiven myself. Much has changed in the 5-6 years since that relationship, and I can attest that I am a better person because of the mistakes I made with her. I now know that women are indeed NOT objects, yet beautiful creations of God, they are human...like me (meaning they make mistakes as well as me), and they are not as complex as one would think. I know, I know, every guy reading this is rolling their eyes in disgust shouting "WHATEVER!", but it is true. They are no more complex than me or any other guy, just different beings who perceive situations differently from men (as every person does from each other, we are all unique after all). none of this is to say that I have women figured out, I just realize that they are not so horrificly complex as I had thought. All of this to say that my mistakes have truly made me grow. I find that comforting. I am finally myself. I am still in-process, but I recognize who I am- who I want to be. Now the puzzle lies in how I make my way toward the person I feel I am to be. What is the next step? My boss said to me the other day, "I'm in my forties and I'm still growing, of course I expect you to be growing as well." That was a nice moment of encouragement. I took from that coversation that he is still vexed, and often, and that makes me feel like a person. I am not alone. We are all growing. We are all searching. We are all just ourselves...memories and all.

"Rollin' wit my homies"

2006-11-13T09:34:00.000-05:00

This past week we cleaned out the trash from construction at The Coffee Pub Michael, Jackie and I had a little fun with the carpet remnants left from our install in the office. Check out how big of a moron I can be ;)

::RJ

On and on...

2006-11-08T20:36:00.000-05:00

There are those days that seem to stretch into weeks. I have been having those days for a few months now. My life, richly blessed as it is, has become more and more stressful lately. I am conscious of all that I have to do to help open The Coffee Pub, but I feel inadequate so many hours of the day that it begins to wear on me. There are those moments in which I feel vindicated or even encouraged in what I am doing, but I feel that those moments are near extinction of late. With the opening day ever-approaching I become more and more tense. I do not want to feel this way, and I am troubled at my lack of self-confidence. I have, with the help of friends, family, and of course God, oversome numerous trials in my life, but I feel this challenge is too large; that I lack too much knowledge, or I am too young. I know these are crap answers to my own questions and quiote frankly depressing. I know there is so much in store for me in this life as it moves forward, on and on, into the future, but what exactly. I know this is not the first time I have asked this question of myself or God, but when will I know? Will I ever know? I mean, is life just a series of questions spurring you to try new ventures until you find one that draws the most attention, curiosity and strength and from there you spend the rest of your life trying to complete the challenge? Is that contentment? I wonder. There are peices of me that have come together in this past year that I am so happy to have found, but I recognize that there are more to be found until I am whole. And who knows? Maybe this time next year I will be in seminary pursuing a degree that will allow me into the inner-workings of the Western church in hopes of seeing authentic holiness spring forth. I find that prospect pleasing, but I find the place I am in now, here in Tallahasee opening The Coffee Pub and being with Steph, so wonderful yet strangely mysterious. I look forward to the future, warily mind you, but I eagerly approach the next door and the next challenge. here's to opening the Pub, here's to pursuing my relationship with Steph {which is incredibly exciting ;)}, and here's to the prospect of being an aspect of God's ministry in this world during this time! I praise God that he is holy. That He is set apart.

Drinking and writing...

2006-08-31T17:55:00.000-04:00

Today has been a long-ass day. (Forgive my language) I arose at the butt-crack of dawn to meet my best friend Jerad for a lovely breakfast sandwich at our favorite hang out (for breakfast sandwiches that is), BagelHeadz, and some refreshingly honest conversation. It was a great time. Afterward i returned home for a short break before I made my way to an insurance agency here in Tally-town to register myself as an independent needing health insurance. Aint growing up sucky? indeed it can be.

After my insurance meeting i found my way to Starbucks on north monroe street and enjoyed a nice time of returning emails for work and pleasure. I was called by our Sprinkler/fire safety sub-contractor to come and see something so my time at Starbucks was cut short. oh well. After my visit to the Coffee Pub I went home for lunch. i had a delectable sandwich and immediately (at the end of my lunch break) returned to work.

Stratton and I made our way to Staples to purchase some hanging folders for a filing cabinet I pipcked up from Killearn United methodist Church yesterday to aid in creating my filing system for bookeeping etc. I purchased 10% recycled material hanging folders while Stratton made his way to Zaxby's to secure a lunchtime meal for himself. Once he returned we made our way back to Watermark's office in Mount Vernon Square. We removed the filing cabinet from my Jeep and once we found ourselves in our office I began to create the system.

Stratton, who is greatly equipped in the area of computer savvy-ness, printed off some labels for the different shelves while I sorted through paperwork. Needless to say (well maybe I do need to say it, but oh well) two hours later we were finished and I had to locate some information for our contractor to relay to our electrician tomorrow afternoon. At about 5 o'clock I decided, along with Stratton, to call it quits and find a place in Finnegan's Wake to sit and chill out for a while. Luckily they have decided to become a wifi hot spot so I can sit and enjoy a Newcastle while I write. Anywho, just thought I would fill you in on my day. Hope it wasn't a waste for ya!

The Great Disconnect...

2006-07-23T13:38:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone,

I know I have not been a regular poster these past few months, but I realize this may have been a blessing in disguise. Over this past week (and today) I have been thinking through how truly connected to others, and more importantly God, I am. How connected can I be if it is only through cyberspace, how connected to God can I be if i never turn this laptop off and read his word and talk to him. I think I am being convicted about this. i enjoy blogging, i enjoy myspace and facebook, but half of the messages left and returned on those sites are so surface level it isn't even funny. i want more. i defnitely want more with God and of this comes in the way of my relationship and pursuit of Him then I guess we know the answer to that. I need to cut back.

This past week I attended a camp with my former church as a chaperone for the youth group and while there I was pretty disconnected. at first it was a little stressful, but as the week progressed, i let go and i enjoyed it immensely. i had more time with those kids, myself, and with God (though if I am totally honest i still pursued playing games more than i did spending time with God and reading his word or books etc. but I guess it will take baby steps). I am longing to be close with God. i am. i have no idea what that means, but I can feel it deep within my being and I have no earthly idea how to pursue that, but I am sure he is faithful. I need him. Especially now, more than ever. there is a lot happening in my mind, my life, my heart, and my soul. i do not know where these questions, this confusion, this ever-growing brokeness is leading, but I am honestly excited to see where God would have me venture next, because to me (as cheesy as it sounds... HE is my greatest adventure). Please keep me in your prayers, along with Watermark, and the coffee pub.

I have missed you all and i love you guys!

::RJ

On the road again...

2006-07-15T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today I left for the beginning of my "vacation." My roomate and I joke that he and I when we take time, still end up serving in some ministry in some capacity in our "down" time and well, i guess we are right. The trip to Boiling Springs, NC was not so bad. Besides the hour and a half detour north of our destination (how that happens or when I do not know) the trip went fairly fast and smooth for me and those on my bus. I am now at Gardner Webb University in a coffee house across the street called the Broad River Coffee Company awaiting tomorrow's beginnings of Crossroads Worldwide summer camp. I love this camp for numerous reasons especially because I am here with a youth group that is dear to my heart, Fruit Cove Baptist Church. I interned here for two summers around two years ago and I loved it and them. I pray that this time away from Tallahassee is a refreshing departure from the norm (though a somewhat sad departure from a certain someone ;)) and that I will come away with some new ideas a renewed sense of vigor for watermark and the Coffee Pub! I love you all and I am loving it here so far. Be good and keep safe!

::RJ

ps. I am glad that I am so happy after our 12 hour bus ride today!

Watermark

2006-06-21T17:14:00.000-04:00

Sundays @ 5:30 PM
website: http://watermarktallahassee.org for directions/location

:: watermark - a photoset on Flickr

random...

2006-06-21T09:46:00.000-04:00

a short poem written whilst atop the capital building here in tally-town the other day...

See the skyline, see it quake.
The clouds that block the sun
Shake my mind from its perch,
Reaching for a greater understanding.

Hasta!

::RJ

prayer and the art of....everyday living?

2006-06-15T23:02:00.000-04:00

This morning Jim (my boss and pastor) organized a prayer meeting for the four of us. I must admit that God has yet again freaked me out in that cool goosebump sort of way. Over the past few weeks I have really been dealing with prayer and the lack thereof in my life and in my ministry, and I guess I have not been alone. Jim has been convinced of late that he, as well as all of us, has not been seeking God through prayer very well, nor frequently. I would have to agree seeing as I have had very similar convictions and I feel as though M.A. has as well...maybe...I can't back that up ;). The point is is that this morning was greatly welcomed in my life personally, and I think very pertinent to where watermark is heading with parish groups, small groups, worship gatherings and The Coffee Pub. I was somewhat wary entering into that small little guest house on the outskirts of Tallahassee this morning, but at the end of the morning I found that I had really had a time of encountering God and bonding with my brothers on a strangely new level (at least for me). I thank God for this morning, and I thank him for providing me with these words from his scriptures the past couple of days:

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Phillipians 4:4-7

Have great weekends everyone!

::RJ

Wowie Wow Wow...an ode to Christopher Walken

2006-06-13T11:27:00.000-04:00

I realized this morning that it has indeed been over a month since my last post. i apologize for that. i know many of you have been sitting at home questioning if God exists due to the fact that I have not posted. I am here today to tell you that, Yes God exists and yes I am posting again ;) I hope you have all been well. this past month has been interesting. I have had the opportunity to preach at Watermark again and I loved it, I have since met a great new friend who has really added some perk to my step, I have visited home with my pal Stratton (even though I was ill it was still nice to be home), my sister has graduated from her master's program, and I have enjoyed a time of true growth...I think. Last Thursday the plans for the Coffee Pub were submitted and from this point forward we move ahead into the great unknown of "try" and we shall soon know whether or not we can actually pull this off. My father has been a great help to me with his unyeilding faith that he believes we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, and I have great faith that watermark is becoming a place of true growth (whether or not it is large in number) and that excites me! God is incredible! In the spirit of the one-hit-wonder devotional book The Prayer of Jabez, i would like to take this opportunity to say that I am excited, anxious, worried, and incredibly scared of what is to come, but that is the great thing about God...he is mysterious and if we want more of him, we must step forward and ask for more. So to paraphrase the Prayer of Jabez in a Christopher Walken-esque style I would like to say God...."I gotta have more cowbell!"

::RJ

PS please keep watermark and The Coffee Pub in your prayers. I am hopeful that God will use everyone that has become involved in both to help serve Tallahassee. I hope that we truly want to be good neighbors in this city and put ourselves selflessly onto the back burner looking to God to lead us!

Transparency=naked

2006-05-08T15:40:00.000-04:00

Last night at watermark m.a. Lopez spoke about community, more so the hope that lies beneath our sinful nature that is defined by our bred desire for relationship. I enjoyed his thoughts, I also had an epiphany about our nakedness and why (thanks to m.a.) Adam and Eve might have been ashamed by their own exposure. It was not that they were ashamed of their bodies for, as m.a. Lopez puts it, they had always been naked. I think what was so damaging was not their exposure but what they were now exposed to. They had opened pandora's box and they were now and forevermore to be at risk of the effects of sin and how it might plague their lives. My epiphany as stated earlier came when I thought that maybe like Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5, we have for so long in the church (the American church specifically) tried to buy our way out of true connection for fear of our own exposure. Hiding our sin behind a good country club face, paying our dues to one another, hiding our true feelings, pain and mistakes behind the facades of monies. For being broken people is not allowed when pride reigns and has taken control of the kingdom. I relate nakedness to transparency, an utter exposure with one another. I relate sin to a film, or a fig leaf, that covers us in its after effects of worrying what others may think or being too prideful to ask for help when we make mistakes. I believe (in part) that this is why Adam and Eve were ashamed, not due to their physical exposure, but instead a desire to shield from one another what had happened to them separately. They did not want the other to know that they had wronged God, that they were now broken...and ashamed because of it. m.a. also insistently purveyed that there is hope, great hope in what is offered through Christ and therefore being part of the kingdom, part of community. There is that hope that we may be known, not judged...aided, not persecuted throughout our problems. I agree wholeheartedly. Transparency=naked. Not an ashamed nakedness, but a new hope laidened with grace where we all listen to one another intently in hopes to help one another through struggles and pains. This to me is the new nakedness; a truly open life with one another where shame is not the issue yet more of a concern about each other's well being and growth. 'Nakedness' is no longer grounds for shame, but hope. No longer grounds for worry but a new springboard for growth in the kingdom, in our family. No longer grounds for prideful division or facades but a place for authenticity. Rob said it right when he spoke that the scriptures speak to us of real people in real place at real times. We are a continuance of this narrative. How can the story proceed without us being real? Let's get naked!

Son of a preacha man!

2006-05-01T10:38:00.000-04:00

Last night I spoke at watermark for the first time as the one who was teaching or sharing. I must admit throughout the past couple of weeks I have been very anxious about how it would go, whether or not it would be good, whether or not people would like me. But God is good and God likes me...:). He speaks when we are muted by our own intellect, and he moves when we are stagnant, and he is giving when we are self-centered and focused upon all that is at hand for us personally. God is beyond me! That is exciting! God is much stronger than I am! That, I find comforting because if he weren't we would all be screwed! Overall God is God, and at times I really need to stop and remember that. I cannot control all and that I need to be okay with. I am given many things and I feel that I need be responsible with what is given me, and make the most of it for His kingdom.

I am learning this more and more, and as that relates to me in context of last night? Well, things did not go as I had planned. I had hoped for a true discussion, yet I sort of ended up talking for most of the time. I ended up really just sharing what was on my mind and on my heart instead of allowing us all to share the moment together, but you know I feel that that is what was meant to occur. I honestly don't remember half of it. I do know that I shared some very embarassing stories (who cares) and I laid what I was chewing on out on the table and who can really be embarrassed about that? Especially at a place like watermark where we try and live out transparency and true community? No one. Or at least no one should be embarassed by what they are working through. We should always be willing to walk alongside those through struggles, we should encourage struggles. We should encourage a walk through faith that is willing that pain should come, that maturity will develop, a faith that we can test, and that we should question in healthy ways striving to perfect it (though we know we will not). Is this not a relational faith with a relational community in relationship with God? I think it is and I feel it is necessary that we walk through these times together in love.

Donald Miller says that intimate love, relational love is exclusive. We cannot spread the love we have for God amongst many other gods and expect Him to want that relationship with us. No. We need God therefore we need his love, we want his love, an exclusive love that reacts cosmically with our souls and projects us forward into a world of loving others selflessly. I find it interesting that this exclusive love with God makes us into beings that are not selfish with our love. Yes we need exclusive loving relationships, but beyond this natural (God-given) love-partnership, we have a love that is beyond us and must, MUST find ways to reach a world that is in pain. A world that desires to understand why we have joy amidst all that we may suffer. How do we have this joy, this true joy in the midst of our personal pain? I feel like at that point is when we will understand what it means to love. That we can love God beyond our own personal pain and still look to aid those around us who may even be hurting less than us, who may be broken in more minute ways than us, is how love translates into this world. I may be on my own in thinking this, but I feel this is one definite manifestation (of possibly many) of God's love among us. I hope that as I continue pondering this love-thing that i will mature in faith because of it, and hopefully learn to enact love in ways that I am not even conscious of. That love is so engrained in who I am because of Christ's love for me, that I just am love for others. I have a long way to go to be sure, but I hope I am not alone, and I hope that we can join together in whatever ways possible in trekking this trail toward love and God together. Many Blessings Y'all!

::RJ

Righteous Anger? or ...not so much

2006-04-27T21:39:00.000-04:00

As a preface this entry may come across as childish, but I needed an avenue for venting and since this entry involves someone I would normally vent to, I figured I would let you all in. So, I apologize in advance if this immature, but I do not apologize that you are reading this, cause that is your choice :)

Is there ever a right time for anger? I mean can I be angry at my friend for wanting to respect her significant other's wishes of not seeing me before she moves out of town? I would have to say that in this situation I am not upset with myself that I got angry. I was more hurt than anything due to the fact that her sig. other has known me just as long as she has, and she and I have been great friends far longer than they have been dating, not to mention she is moving and I will hardly see either of them again! Am I wrong in this? If so I would love to hear your thoughts. I hope I am not blowing this out of proportion, but I am offended that he doesn't trust me, and she seemingly doesn't care enough to want to see me to say goodbye above the wishes of her seemingly insecure and immature boyfriend. I guess I may be a little over angered by this, but she is one of my best friends, and she is moving! Thoughts? Words of encouragement? help? Am I strange? Or is this an acceptable emotion/reaction?

...always sounds better in a book.

2006-04-27T21:22:00.000-04:00

...always sounds better in a book.

and my blog owns...

25 %

My weblog owns 25 % of me.
Does your weblog own you?

of me!

nothing to say, nothing to teach...

2006-04-21T21:19:00.001-04:00

I am sharing next week at watermark and so far I have yet to feel a conclusive leading to what i should share. My confidence still a lil' quakey from my Vancouver experience has not been much help either. Please pray for me. I really want to be open and share with my family at watermark what God would have me, but I am scared...

::RJ

My New Vehicle!

2006-04-18T22:36:00.000-04:00

P1010015
Originally uploaded by rjcanbereached.

I know this is somewhat lame, but I had to share my excitement with everyone!

::RJ

Early Riser

2006-04-06T07:36:00.000-04:00

I am not one to wake up early just for the heck of it, but this morning I was scheduled (as I am weekly) to have breakfast with my best friend (and amazing brother) Jerad. He cancelled. I can't fault him because I cancelled last week. Either way I am awake, and I must say Tallahassee sunrises aren't too shabby. It has been a while since I have seen one. Don't get me wrong I am up in the mornings, just not this early normally, nor out and about.

Being up early has its benefits though. Like right now, I am chilling in a coffee shop taking full advantage of their wifi thinking on Jesus, and writing all about it here. Yesterday morning during breakfast I was reading through Romans 14 and I was floored. i must admit that there are numerous occasions that I remember where I read the Word and find something so incredibly vibrant and relevant to my day, that i begin to wonder if I have ever read through scripture before. God is amazing though and I believe his spirit works every second. As i was saying Romans 14 struck me yesterday as it speaks of how we should not judge those less mature in faith etc. Verse 1 goes as follows (The Message):

"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with-even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently."

We all come from an assortment of unique pasts and hometowns and cultures. Not one is set above another, but at times it is difficult to not fall into the trap of judgement when one knows Biblical principles that help guide us in life and see that those who are new in our lives do not abide by those. I come from a very conservative christian background (at least my home churches) and I learned how to play the 'follow the rules of our church culture' game, and I was good at it. I was even a great enforcer of our norms, but I am realizing more and more that Christ is not exclusive, but that we are included by Christ and therefore set apart as examples of his love, not exhuberant piety. Our doors are to be open for whoever needs to come in. Our cloaks are to be in our arms ready to be given away at a second's notice. We exist because of Christ, we exist in God's love because he loves us. We exist to be a tangible force of God's loving hand in this world, our world, a place we should care about, with people we should always look out for. How can we not care about those around us?

Not everyone who walks through Watermark's doors is going to be someone I agree with in every fashion, yet I want to be a person of integrity, more importantly, a person of love displaying the characteristics of my savior. I mean Romans 13:8 says 'Don't run debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other...'. I need to be in His love, I need to be his love, for those who walk in and just want to talk to someone. One whose voice has never been heard, they have just been another face in the crowds of other churches. We all have our pasts, our perceptions, and they do not dictate us but do set up the plotlines of our lives up to the present. Maybe we as the church can be the climax of their stories, building excitement and love into their plots, treating them gently, patiently, lovingly. I think this is my place. Our place.

Chapter 14 goes on to say in verses 22-23,
'Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You are fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you ar acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe-some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them- then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.'

I just wanted to share the end of this chapter because I found it relevant as well, but also because it is intensely challenging! If we just serve to please others than we are seving ourselves in a selfish manner for social approval. our service to our communites is a service os selflessness, Christ's love, not a way to show that we are good people. I hope for this passionates selflessness, which is no doubt part of The Way!

God lead us all in The Way!

::RJ

Moments...

2006-04-04T22:24:00.000-04:00

There are moments where moments become seasons and you wish that all of time lingered so slowly. There is no moment, however, that does not pass and every new moment brings the hope of another season. Life is a mystery, and who knows what shall come next season. I know I don't, but I also know that not knowing is almost a comfort. One can be prepared, but not anxious. Excited, yet not worried. And that is the true joy of it all. We need not be too involved with our own destiny, nor destinations.

I feel it deep within that more and more I am realizing God in everyday life, and I am truly joyous. I do not have it all figured out, if I did what I am writing would be pointless! I just know that as I have recently jumped through one layer of my fear of commitment and signed a year lease here in Tallahassee. I am scared... still. I am scared that my job may not exist in 6 months, or that I will be unwise one month with my money and not make rent, or that I am so incredibly indecisive that soon I will have my attention drawn somewhere new and exotic, and want desperately to leave it all behind me here and move on. I can't be scared. Not anymore. God is moving here in Tallahassee, and I am savoring each moment as it brings its own season of hope and joy.

Watermark (my church) has recently changed locations and we are meeting in a new restaurant now, and just being there seemed so right this past sunday. I was encouraged further by meeting a brother named Michael whom I actually "met" through this very blog when he commmented on my poem about jazz a few months ago. I hope to see that relationship grow as I see him adding much to my life and others with new outlooks and wisdom. I hope this not too presumptuous. (Forgive me, Michael, if it is :)) God is good. I don't care how cliche it is to say, but He is good, and even better yet, He is beyond me.

Sunday's moments brought so many seasons of joy as every few minutes a child ran through the audience to give a rock to her dad, as I saw someone truly connecting with our Pastor Jim (more so with the spirit), as I sat by my great friend April whom I love dearly, as I watched M. A. Lopez behind the bar seemingly content with life, as I realized that Watermark church is just that...church. What it is meant to be. ( Don't get me wrong, we have our problems, but the hearts are there and we are pursuing how to be right with God and with our neighbors...at least I see that we are! :) )

That moment of realization brought a full on season of Autumn (my favorite season) complete with auburn leaves gracefully making there way through gravity toward the earth, and my heart smiled. I am a part of a community of Christ followers who I believe really want to serve God and Tallahassee. How much more blessed could I want to be? I am allowed these seasons in my life- seasons of doubt, trangression, pain, love, joy, questioning, faithlessness, faithfulness, completeness- for the very reason Christ died for me, to experience God's great love for us. Each moment does in fact stretch into memory, and every mini-season adds to the seasons of my life as I grow older, wiser (hopefully), more loving, more compassionate, more aware of need around me etc. My life is just that, an accumulation of seasons building to the culmination of my one day experiencing the love of God in all his glory when I truly join His kingdom. I am just blessed right now in this moment to see a glimpse ( however imperfect it/we may be) of how the Kingdom might be everytime I meet someone new at watermark, or befriend someone in a coffee shop, participate in worship at Watermark, or even play kickball with those I care about. This is living, but I look forward to my next succession of moments and to where they may lead or to whom...

::RJ

The Coffee Pub has an Identity!!!

2006-03-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

Here is our new and finalized logo guys!!!

Sign 02
Originally uploaded by rjcanbereached.

I apologize in advance...

2006-03-21T13:11:00.000-05:00

It seems that Tallahassee is suffering today with grief over the loss of yet another squirrel. The squirrel, a life long political activist for the preservation of his natural habitat, took his own life today in hopes to , according to his suicide note, "To begin the process of change that is necessary for squirrels, birds and others in the wildlife community to grasp and bring forth new policies that protect their homes." The squirrel died tragically, but by choice. His voice will not go unnoticed, though, as at least three citizens of this fair city actually noticed that he had in fact died. Whether or not said citizens will do anything with their first hand knowledge, other than blogging about it, is yet to be seen. We ask now that children please leave the room due to the graphic nature of the images to be shown:

more roasting...

2006-03-10T23:58:00.000-05:00

here are some more photos from the roast, including one of Bill's incredibly cool son, Liam:

Roasting...

2006-03-10T23:35:00.000-05:00

Last night (Thursday March 9th) my dad, who came into town for a visit on Wednesday night and will have the chance to stay through Sunday for Watermark, and I went out to Waukeenah to roast some coffee with my good friends Dave and Bill. It was great! My dad loved it as did I. We are both self-professed conneisseurs of coffee, and being a part of the process that makes it into the beverage we love was incredible. i was totally surprised as to how short the process truly is. One has to heat the roaster ( a micro roaster) to around 430 degrees farenheit then drop the green coffee beans into to area with the flame. you then have to wait until the temperature returns to around 430 degrees and you listen for the 'cracks'. Depending on how light or dark you want the roast you either remove the beans for cooling directly after the second crack or you wait longer.

It was such a fun time, and the coffee, which happened to be an organic Guatemalan bean that was paid for by more than a fair trade rate, is outstanding! I am glad my dad got to experience it with me. I think he has found his true calling, well at least his post-retirement calling. Ha!

Here are some pics from the roast:

1:00am and on...

2006-03-08T01:02:00.001-05:00

Yeah I find that there is nothing better than sitting down listening to Matt Wertz, Emiliana Torrini, Ryan Adams, (a lil' Kanye West) and Imogen Heap while eavesdropping upon two friends' conversation, though not really listening. Tonight has been strange, today stranger. We painted our new office, or at least most of it. i need to complete the trim work tomorrow morning, yay! (can you sense the sarcasm?) Afterward we walked, yes walked, to Decent Pizza enjoyed a nice slice, returned to the manor and met Jim for worship planning. I know crazy day right? it gets better! After WP i came home watched Scrubs with Alison and Stratton then rented Just Friends for a good laugh. We are still here. In my living room. Yes Stratton and I do have to work tomorrow, but who cares? Nick just walked in.... it's now 1:10.

This is how it is...

2006-03-03T17:46:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning abruptly to a phone call that I thought was my alarm, but, was instead, my friend and co-worker Michael. Needless to say he woke me up earlier than I desired, yet I was glad to hear his voice and the excitement of his pending spring break vacation hidden in his voice. He informed me of some new logo designs for the coffee shop we are starting that our graphic designer had sent and asked me to look at them. I told him I would, and promptly went back to sleep.

I find it strange that I wanted to share that, but I am glad and now I am moving on. I have a really great friend who lost his mother this week. Two weeks ago or so I have another friend who lost his father. Both losses are tragic yet I have seen both friends respond incredibly well to their losses. They prove to me that god is bigger than I give him credit for or that they are just incredible at dealing with pain, either way God is good. I love both of these friends greatly and my heart aches for their losses, but they point out to me that life does not stop even though our individual worlds may stop spinning every now and then. I mean just the other day one of these friends proposed to their now fiancee! He understands that she is his future and wanted to share that joy with his mother (before she passed) who has invested so much in developing how great of a man he is. Life and all that goes with it is so poetic at times.

I cannot imagine the pain they are experiencing right now, and honestly I have no idea how to truly be there for them. I know the cliche answer of 'just pray for them and their loved ones,' but I feel like that is not enough. I want to be there with them grieving from the depths of my heart though I truthfully did not know either of their parents very well. They just mean that much to me. I struggle as how to show it though. How do you communicate how much you care about them and their situations without over-stepping your bounds? When I lost my grandfather (who meant the world to me) I really didn't want to talk about it with anyone for a very long time. Do I wait with them? I don't know if they are dealing with their losses like I dealt with mine, but I am afraid to be too disconnected for fear of offending them. Can I sit schiva (sp?) with them without being present? I long to display my respect for their situations and their families. I will and have attended their parent's funerals, but even then can I purvey that? Will they understand that I am there for them if I do not smother them with phone calls? I guess I will find out...

::RJ

Bringing it back...into the new blog.

2006-02-24T12:08:00.000-05:00

For those of you who never had a chance to read my old blog (which I know the amount is inumerable) I am pasting an entry I wrote a while ago into this new blog that I enjoy so much more! Here it is:

Agape Toi-'scrub'-ing hard to find each other in community:

While watching Scrubs the other day (the best show on television in my opinion) I felt an extreme connection not just to Dr. Dorian or JD (a clarifying point for my great brother Michael Anthony) but to the entire cast of characters that grace the halls of Sacred Heart Hospital. Now, for those of you who do not watch Scrubs (I am praying for your salvation..haha), this misfit crew of life-savers experiences dynamic changes in emotional standing between one-another each and every episode. The show has in incredible manner of taking such comical actors and situations and turning our minds toward the true-life-application-type insight that JD comes to at the end of every episode. Now, I may be naive but I truly believe that I have a connection with these characters, more generally the crew as a unit. I believe that my connections toward the entire crew are linked to my beliefs of how community works.

I believe that love is central to community. true love, not lustful, fleeting, shallow, superficial love, but true agape love. I listened to my friend Michael preach this past Sunday and he enlightened me with a greek phrase that denotes true, intimate friendship love- Agape Toi (i hope I am spelling this right). Agape Toi is a phrase that is used by John the evangelist when he is greeting his 'children' in the early church. In his work 1 John, John speaks on the true ways of a true Christ-follower. We must love one another. We must. We are commanded by Christ to love one another. 1 John 3:11 says "This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another." We have heard from the 'beginning' that love is central to our lives. John goes on to give us an example of what love is not from the 'beginning'- Cain.

I bring this up because while I was watching Scrubsmy mind was drawn to this section of the Biblical text. I found myself thinking that all of these characters display true love. Granted, they are at times cynical and somewhat vindictive, they still, at the end of the issue between them, display true love. The core truth to the subtext of Scrubs is that they cannot do life on their own. The theme songs states, "I can't do this all on my own, No I know, I'm no superman." We aren't 'Supermen/women' we aren't impervious to our world. We do have forgiveness in Christ, and thank God, strength to resist temptation through his grace, yet we are still in danger of being beaten down, strung along, depressed, emotionally unstable, diseased etc. This is the human condition.

We are flawed, weak beings who thirst for community, for someone to love them, and protect them. The characters in Scrubs are so relevant because they point this out to me in such a vivid way. They are erring humans, and though they make their mistakes, they offend one another, and even physically hurt one another (at times, and mostly by accident), they , at the end of the day, are willing to listen to one another, and even more willing to forgive once they understand the context of their situations.This is Agape Toi.

Our lives are the ultimate situation comedies. We deal with real issues every day, real situatiions. If we are to come out alive and being the true Christ Followers that we long to be, we need one another. We need each other's true love. Our example of love is also given by John: 'This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.' 1 John 3:16.

A specific example that i remember from Scrubs is this point in the show where JD and Elliot are named co-Chief Residents, yet JD becomes known as the co-chief and Elliot is known as THE chief resident. This bugs JD greatly, but after a while he realizes that Elliot needs some form of affirmation and encouragement in her life, and if being Chief and he being Co-chief strengthens her, then that is what he wanted to do. he wanted to build her up, To support her because of how many times he had let her down. he realized she needed the title more than he and he laid that down for her. This is biblical love people!

vs. 18 says this: 'Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and truth.' I love this verse because John writes into his instruction a catch 22 for us. We cannot show love just through actions, but actions and truth, true action. Actions without a truth in love backing them, are just empty practices, but love-induced action is a thing of Godly beauty, and are reflective of Christ in our lives. JD and Elliot have their issues but love one another.

We as christ followers must love, and to be a community or even a staff of a fictional hospital, love must be present. Christ is cohesive. A main part of his cohesion is his amazing love for us and his requirement for us to love one another is very important. It is engrained in our very beings to belong. As Christ died so that we could all belong in the most ultimate sense of the word, with our true Father, we should also die to our own prideful hang ups or selfish desires and give to one another the love that is so necessary and beyond beautiful.

::RJ

a mist...

2006-02-23T15:53:00.000-05:00

free verse...just go with it:

a mist, cold, annoying, clings to my soul;
a soul already dampened by the hate that
rains down everyday in this and other countries.

where is the love of christ in the church,
where is the grace like rain that pours down
and washes us free from our own sanctioned hells?

a liberating function, the cleansing of mist upon
the windshields that i view life through, is non-existent.
i see little evidence of grace in the church toward one another

my vision, His vision for me, and the visions given me
are no longer clear yet clouded by the mists of doubt
that plague my existence-my spirituality.

my soul aches with grief for those who have fled
the walls of our congregations due to our own selfish
pietous ways, our phariseeical approach toward sharing HE.

my heart screams out under downpours of emotion
regarding those who hate God because of men,
those who are divided amongst themselves to where loving is not an option.

mists darken the horizons of our future, mists of our
own creation, that linger just long enough to tear apart our
commond ground, our unity- Christ.

thanks for bearing with me
::RJ

On days like these...

2006-02-18T23:44:00.000-05:00

On days like these there are moments when you realize fully what emotional state you are in, and also that your emotional state is quite fluid. My day has been mixed. It started off well. I enjoyed a nice skinny iced vanilla latte with a strawberry scone for breakfast before meeting my pastor/boss in Winthrop park to begin cooking for our Party in the Park for our Watermark family. i then rushed home to shower and dress for my friend's father's memorial service. I returned to the barbeque to eat lunch with everyone before heading to the funeral. We had a gret time!

On my way to the church for his service my mind slipped in and out of pensivity (is this a word? ). I was in and out of deep thought. I was wondering how my friend was handling his father's death, I was worried that I should have been a better friend these past few months because I was no longer in his inner circle and felt strangely about trying to serve his family. I hoped for the best. I hoped the service would indeed celebrate his father's new life. I hoped that my friend and his family would feel the love of those around them during this time of loss. My mind was running a mile a minute. After all was said and done I feel as though every question was answered, and answered well.

I bring my day up because I had one variable playing an active role throughout the day, through every mood, through every distinct period from sun up to sun down- jazz.

I listened to Duke Ellington and Miles Davis throughout the entire day. They were my friends of solace, my friends in grief, my friends in relaxation, and my friends for activity. As I breakfasted I listened to the smooth key strokes of Duke and latter in the day to the horn workings of Miles. No matter the time on the clock i found my home in their notes. i found a quiet escape from all that was rushing through my mind.

A couple of months ago I wrote a poem about Jazz at an improv jazz session at the warehouse here in Tallahassee. i found it very relevant today:

The smoke rises, engulfing each note
As they, engrossed, simply feel the rhythm.
We reap what they sow, their fruits
Grace our lips with the sanguine tastes
Of their predecessors.

Soul.

I see the scenesters, the hipsters, the intellectuals
All moving to the same beat, that driving,
Intense flow that streams from the pianist's
Fingers, washing over all ears,
All hearts.

Vibe.

Every table aglow, a bussle of conversation,
Each different, yet unified by every person's
Concern for those they are with. It's a
Common scene, yet far too often overlooked,
Taken for granted.

Love.

The music strings together an eclectic mix
Of those taking up space in the room. The
Music tells of something other than ourselves
And draws us into itself, a timely diversion
From the everyday.

Jazz.

Thank God for Jazz, thank God for fellowship, thank God for friends, and thank God for family even though at some point we may lose them all...

::RJ

God be good....all the time!

2006-02-16T17:34:00.000-05:00

All i have to say is that God is good. He is in control of what is going on even when I am doubting. Today we received news that we are approved to sign the lease for the CoffeePub location, Watermark is moving to a new location (the American Legion Hall on Lake Ella...in two weeks), we have now a graphic design artist who wants to help us pro-bono! It just keeps coming, and what is humbling is that I am constantly aware that we have not and never will be worthy of such gifts. How can I question if God is a giving God? i don't know. luckiy he does not love me based on my merits, but just because HE is GOD. I find great comfort in that fact.

::RJ

ps: Going to see a show tonight... Hundred Year Storm with widows&orphans. I met the guys from Hundred year and they are extremely nice guys. Go and support them if they are ever near your home. For you in Fruit Cove they are coming to Murray Hill on the 17th or 18th. Either Fri. (tomorrow) night or Sat.!!

hmm...

2006-02-14T11:47:00.000-05:00

There are times when the world just clicks for me. Then, there are those times when everyone or everything seems to just be the exact opposite of who/what I am. I don't know how I feel so far this week. There is much going through my mind and a great percentage of it is petty, insecure, woe is me bull $#*@ and I hate it. I wish I was content with who I am. I wish I could understand why somedays are just so much better than others and why on those days I actually feel connected with this God I serve. And as I am typing this I realize that the very core of my 'waagh-ness' is self-centeredness. I am wholly devoted to me and it is a sobering realization. I have, and I am sure am still, and even more sure will be, my own idol. I am not worthy of worship, it is just that I am me, and I know me, and therefore I think on me a lot. It is a bit sad.

This is not just some Valentine's day self-pity rant, i am truly concerned with my faith and at what level of trust I stand when it comes to God and my savior Christ, and not just how self-loving I am today. I don't even know if this makes sense! I am struggling with my faith, wrestling with issues, and that I am grateful for. I woke up thinking (strange I know) about Jacob and how he wrestled with the messenger of God calling him forth, and I truly felt that this applies to me. I would feel even worse if I didn't question God, didn't wrestle with/for my faith. Thank God for introspection (the positive, non-vain type). Thank God that he is not easy to follow. There are so many questions that I have, that I have no idea where to begin with and I am ok with that...for the moment.

::RJ

scripture an idol?

2006-02-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

is it possible for believers to make scripture an idol? i mean, can we look to the word as a true, inspired work of God through men and still make an idol out of it? i have been thinking a great deal about this topic the latter part of this week, and i feel that i might be leaning toward yes. i feel that as the church (in the whole) we like to debate the authority of the word just about as much as any other 'controversial' (derived, blown-out-of-proportion topics) issue and by arguing to such great extent we distract ourselves from our true mission on this earth- serving Christ, exhibiting what he has done for us and living out the good news. That distraction is an escape from our true mission, our true focus, our true God. Isn't looking toward something and alloting so much of our hearts and time a form of worship? if so, then isn't debating an issue to death making it an idol? i may be taking this too far and i know that this is a seemingly circular argument and i am only approaching this from one angle, but apart from the authority of scripture debate i feel that we are idol worshipers in the truest sense. i think some of us actually worship our ideal of the word, or of God more than we allow God to be real and worshiped for who he is. i am guilty of this, so, i ask for everyone's accountability on this issue. and i ask us, the church, to approach this objectively and non-defensively. i think it is time we heal. i think it is time we allow God to heal us and remove from us the blockades that detract from him, our attention and worship. the scripture is scripture and if it is 'scripture' then by definition it is holy and if it is written by God then his authority backs it. that seems to me to be all that we need take into account. N.T. Wright, a british theologian, states that we have used the wrong definition for authority when we approach the word, and that we count the life applicational teachings for (and from) the first church as authoritative more than the word itself because we pull those from the word as truth and use them as rules/standards to live by. i wonder do we do this? i think so. maybe we are all guilty of extracting rules to live by instead of allowing the narrative depicting God's work with man move through us. this may sound somewhat mystical and mysterious, but i don't care i believe God is beyond me and probably more mystical than we realize (definitely more mysterious). anywho, enough for now. feel free to comment, bash, critique whatever you like. love you all...

::RJ

PS!!! click here for N.T. Wright's essay on the authority of scripture!

Le' tattoo

2006-02-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

My new tattoo! Just wanted to share... hope you don't think it too cheesy!
::RJ

a 'fortune'-ate event?

2006-02-08T15:16:00.000-05:00

this is random, but i wanted to share it...
I had Chinese food today for lunch with one Stratton Glaze and at the end of our meal we received the traditional token of gratitude from the owners, the fortune cookie! i will share mine with you now:

"Good work, good life, good love, good-bye oppression!"

Isn't this incredible! Anyways i would share my 'lucky' numbers with you as well except that Stratton said they were the ages of women we are allowed to date, and well let's just say if I published mine i might get arrested for a statutory offense! Yikes!

::RJ

Confusingly Christian...

2006-02-07T16:24:00.000-05:00

I have had a strange weekend/beginning of this week. My mind is veritable plethora of emotion and thought colliding in stranger and stanger ways. Not to mention...I am sick.

One such collision of thought and emotion has to do with the church. i have written in past entries (on past blogs) that I have a sensitivity toward the divided church, and that i hope that we could stop arguing over petty, prideful, intellectual differences and grow together toward living out our lives in pursuit of Christ. He is our all! He is why we are concerned at all for the people of this world. Christ is our saving grace, literally! We long to share him. He makes us missional. He makes us compassionate. He makes us socially active. He makes us loving. He changes our spirits! He changes US down to our very core. Why must we divide ourselves when we are all in pursuit of the one who has crafted each of us uniquely in His image? We should rejoice, at all times, worshipfully that we are His and that we are loved.

A main trend of thought concerning the church in my mind is that we are confused, and we do not even know how to love each other, much less those outside of the church. If we are approaching the world with the same cynicism that we do each other, how can anyone see Christ through us? I dunno, it might just be me. anyways I have now lost my train of thought and I feel as though you may be wasting your time listening to my rants, but thanks for your time anyways. I do have a request of everyone who might read this...

PRAY for each other. Pray for those who annoy you. Pray for those who do not listen yet only wait to interject their points. pray for those who call you a hypocrite. Pray for those who love to hurt you. Pray for the Bride of Christ.

::RJ

The 'Love' of the Irish?

2006-02-03T15:59:00.000-05:00

Allo all! I wanted to write today about the National Prayer Breakfast. I don't know how many of you might have tuned in to C-span yesterday for the breakfast, but if you did you know that Bono of the 'rock band' U2 gave a 'homily'. In his speech he spoke to the souls of those not only in the room, but, I would say, to all who saw him share. it was moving and extremely powerful. he touched on how we should all be concerned with the less fortunate in our world, whether that mean financially or concerning health, ie Aids etc. Here is a link to read the minutes of his speech ('Bono's shpill', below). It is totally worth it.

read. examine. look inside. question. pray.

Bono's shpill

::RJ

2006-02-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

An Even Newer Kind of Christian?

Today there has been a lot of buzz concerning an article recently published of Brian McClaren's concerning homosexuality. I humbly redirect you to Adam Cleavland's blog, pomomusings.com. He has more of a ssshhpill about it. Read it, research it, question it, and pray! Let's allow God to direct us and not visceral reactions...

(click the above title to go to his blog site...)
::RJ

A Day at Lake Ella.

2006-01-31T11:31:00.000-05:00

Here in Tallahassee there is a quaint coffee house on Lake Ella called the Black Dog Café. Not only is this a truly “indie-esque” café, but it also embodies many of the attributes that I feel are necessary for the church to be the true bride of Christ. On the wall at Black Dog, as you walk out onto the patio, hangs a banner of sorts which shares with its patrons “How to Build Community.” The banner lists ways to build community as follows:

Turn off your TV. Leave your house. Know your neighbors. Look up when you are walking. Greet people. Sit on your stoop. Plant flowers. Use your library. Play together. Buy from local merchants. Share what you have. Help a lost dog. Take children to the park. Garden together. Support neighborhood schools. Fix it even if you didn’t break it. Have pot-lucks. Honor elders. Pick up litter. Read stories aloud. Dance in the street. Talk to the mail carrier. Listen to the birds. Put up a swing. Help carry something heavy. Barter for your goods. Start a tradition. Ask a question. Hire young people for odd jobs. Organize a block party. Bake extra and share. Ask for help when you need it. Open your shades. Sing together. Share your skills. Take back the night. Turn up the music. Listen before you react to anger. Mediate a conflict. Seek to understand. Learn from new and uncomfortable angles. Know that no one is silent, though many are not heard. Try to change this.

I feel as though the church needs to stop and read this every now and then. I saw this in a very community focused café. One of which is very anti-establishment oriented in the sense that they are who they are, and they want to share life with you, not separate themselves. Isn’t that what the church is? Isn’t this the life that Christ lived? Did he not walk in community listening with patience, teaching with grace, and learning people inside and out? He is our example yet we do not even understand how to relate to our own townspeople/ community. Why is it that this banner in this eccentric coffee house has to remind me of what I feel the church should constantly be living out? I find this offensive to my heart, a proverbial knife in the back. Why aren’t we the ones displaying these characteristics to our world? Why aren’t we the people who live lives of true caring and community? Why do those who represent the American church make us out to be bigots and incredibly offensive? Why can’t we listen to our neighbors with truly open ears without angry hearts? Why aren’t we the mediators instead of the instigators? I thank God for allowing me the chance to frequent Black Dog, and for glancing at that banner that totally refreshed and challenged me! In closing can we be the ones who are social justice fighters? Like the end of the list relays, ”Know that no one is silent, though many are not heard. TRY AND CHANGE THIS!”

A New Blogging ERA!!!!

2006-01-31T08:29:00.000-05:00

Hey this is my new blog site! yay for blogger!